I'M NO SUPERMAN!

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a kid?"

"Yeah...loadsa times."

"I dunno...there's something about your face..."

"I'll give you a hint...I have no facial hair."

"YES, yes, that's what it is,"(somewhat pacified) "And I've been wondering all this while what it was!"

"Yeah, I know. It's weird, even when I go for an adult movie, they ask for an age proof. Sometimes they don't even let me in coz I don't have one. That's why I'm learning how to drive - what?"

"Err...Adult movie?"

"Oh shit! No! I meant movies rated A...like X men!"

"Umm....'X MEN'???"

"Oh Crap! No, no, no..It's not gay porn or anything! It's just brutal mutants violently tearing things up!"

"Uhh.."(taking a few steps back) "Whatever turns you on man..."

"I'M NOT TALKIN ABOUT BONDAGE-DOMINATION-SADISM-MASOCHISM KINDA SHIT DAMMIT! I'M NOT INTO THAT KIND OF STUFF! X MEN IS MAN SHIT!!!"

"....."

Yes, that's how an innocent conversation regarding my lack of a beard has often led to others insinuating, or atleast forming fantastic (and often brutal) mental images about me. Well, I can't help it if I don't grow a beard. Besides, you don't need a beard to prove your manliness. Most superheroes don't have any kind of facial hair. "They shave," you tell me. But how do you know? I mean how many times have you actually seen Batman or Superman shave? Maybe they don't grow beards at all. Let's face it, after a hard day fighting goons and running a multi-billion dollar business empire or reporting about Serbian terrorists or delivering pizza( depending on which superhero you're talking about), the last thing they'll wanna do is trim off something as insignificant as facial hair! Now, I'm not saying that absence of a beard is the quintessential qualification needed to be deemed a superhero, some superheroes actually manage with one - like Wolverine (yeah, he's an X man if you must know). All I'm trying to say is that I don't go to dirty theatres and purchase tickets for adult films...No wait! That's not what I'm trying to say! I mean, I really don't do that! Ok forget it. I'm just saying that I don't have a beard and I don't care! Not like it serves a purpose anyway.

Oh ya, and I may be a superhero.....and a little bit of a movie buff......and a wee bit of a comic buff....NOT a sex maniac( which some of you may have unintentionally been led to believe). So there...!