The Office

It's a big building. In fact it's too big to be accommodated inside the city. Hence it was built in the suburb. In the suburb of a suburb. Hell, you have places called Chingrighata in between the city and the building. Basically the city ostracizes the building. Hence, the building is sad. So it wears a pained expression of blue and white and harbours a lounge called 'Ya Ya Okhama' in its campus. Ya Ya Okhama is the coolio friend that offers support and draws away the embarrassment.

Like all abhorred protagonists the building is good on the inside. It's got a set of 6 elevators as you walk through the glass doors. Like the blatantly out-there 6 pac of Hrithik Roshan prancing around on the beach, thinly concealed by the flimsy shirt. But here's where the analogy ends for fear of grossing myself out. The inside walls are deliciously orange and white and kind of make me crave prawn sticks. The people are indolent by nature and spend 8 out of the 9 working hours checking their mail on the sly or playing Pocket Tanks. You'd think I'd fit in well here, wouldn't you? The fact is I do.

Except when they make me work. That's NOT cool.

The last 3 days have been a rollercoaster of enthusiastic highs and lows for me. Even the bus ride to and from is not without its ups and downs. And its bumps. I spent the first day warming up to the people and trying to find my niche in a cozy little corner of the office. I spent the second day avoiding them. In the course of this I discovered that the primary objective of my presence there is to annoy people. It is beautifully effortless. Generally people get annoyed even at being disturbed from their game of Pocket tanks or being interrupted while typing 'Hello darling...' on their phones. Once I have annoyed enough number of people, they tell me to go home.

But not today. Today the troglodytes made me work! I ask you, is it not enough that I am unwittingly duped into referring to a number of people twice my age as da? Is it not enough that I am drawn halfway across the city only to be fed home-like food at the cafeteria? Is it not enough that I mastered the art of finishing a Sudoku in under 2 minutes while at work? You say, I must work? Why that's just cruel.

I was made to correlate components from a PNI diagram with the data sheet orders and prepare a draft. That sound interesting? So, I willfully gave myself a migraine and re-learned addition and fed my caffeine addiction. ( I didn't have it before but this place has a frikkin' espresso machine just languishing there!) And after I completed 3 days' work in under 3 hours I submitted the report to the supervisor gleefully brimming with pride and he promptly gave me another task. The Fuck, I say. This should be termed as Office misdemeanour. Not the boss leching after the secretary but the boss piling work onto inwardly recalcitrant trainees. If secretaries around the country look as bad as the ones at office, they'd be lucky to be bopped by the boss once in a while. They're hairy.

So I feigned a headache and made it clear that I had a very important Tennis practice session only to get out of work by 4. Dare they challenge me? I'd be glad to settle it over a game of Pocket Tanks.

Plucking the entrails of an offering forth, the augurers could not find a heart within the beast. Hence I shall not stir forth tomorrow. What say you? You urge me to go to Office tomorrow? Et tu Brute?