Motivation Issues

My vocabulary has shrunk to the size of a pea. Note the bad metaphor. I can't be sure but I have an inkling the CAT is responsible for this. It's true that I've only dared to forage through the pages of a very scrawny blue book, diminutively printed with 'Verbal Ability'(Again, just shoot me) but I'm sure it's, at least in part, responsible for the temporary bug in my system. I mean who in the world would use words like peripatetic in place of wanderer, or knows what a parasol really is? It's so preposterous to even insinuate that the Indian student body would or should deign to incorporate such verbiage in our ordinarily jejune perspective of a potentially explosive language that it almost begs some form of vitriolic retribution. We would all be speaking in sentences like this last one. Can you imagine that?

Then again, when viewed in light of the fact that almost 80% of the students I know in my college, have in their repertoire, words extending in their descriptive quality only to 'tasty' while describing food and some paltry nuances therein, and pose at the end of a riveting 3 hours of Lord of the Rings, stimulating questions of philosophical value like 'Yeh Shire Baggins kaun hai?', judging a potential recruit not by his ability to mimic a human calculator, but as someone with exemplary command over language, is not unreasonable. But then again, if all it does is separate the Rain Men from the Sheldon Coopers, then it might be a better idea to gauge the skill in a language more familiar to the Indian masses as an alternative, I dunno, of the top of my head, Hindi maybe. It doesn't take a team of IIM board members to think of that. Seriously, it doesn't. Get rid of them.

And to tell you the truth, I don't think I fall within the top 1 percentile of the people writing the exam in any case. I am neither a computer like my next door neighbour (whom I shall murder one day) nor an expert on logic (like the cocky personage of the tutorial teacher). The only solace I can gather from this is that neither of them is ever going to have a 4 pack! Hah. Then later on in life when I grow flabby, I shall learn Dostoevsky and assault them without warning with words they will never comprehend. You see, it's all part of the plan. *Brimming silence*