Gemini

I think there are more of me. Not more of me in the sense 'people who look like me walking around with nerdy glasses and close cropped hair', that is a myth....it is, I swear! More of me in the sense there are others like me inside me. Not exactly like me in the sense they distract me from whatever it is that I am doing,(I try never to distract myself from what I'm doing), but because of the fact that they are distracted from whatever it is they were doing by others that live within. Get it? No? Well, you won't unless you're me. But I shall try to explain anyway.

I won't try to sound ingenious and creative and oh-so-witty when I say "Four of the five voices in my head tell me to go back to sleep!" I heard it somewhere. (I don't remember where, but one of the others might, I'll ask them as soon as they're awake.) Now imagine all these four or five voices constantly bickering, biting, fluttering like butterflies from one insignificant thing to another. Now imagine yourself( assuming you're in control of your senses for the majority of the day...even a bare minimum of 50% of it is enough) trying to study for a maths exam that you/s unanimously agree, is no point studying for and that you/s are going to fail. It goes something like this:-

Me1: "Mmmm, partial derivatives.....sounds like apple pie!"
Me3: "????What the fuck??? No it does not!"
Me2: "Hey, it was my turn to talk! A-hole!"
Me1: " It sounds like apple pie coz I say it does! It's partial...You eat a 'piece' of apple pie. You differentiate a part of the equation! Same difference."
Me4: "Sigh! Why did you have to remind me of apple pie? All we get here is gooey sambar and spoons that taste of soap."
Me5: "Yeah, what's with the food here? Why does it taste exactly the same every frikkin' day? I mean, you can add a little more salt some day...Go ahead put some extra salt! It tastes shit anyway. Atleast, it reassures us that you're humans cooking our food and not a race of cyborg cooks sworn to a life of servile futility to VIT."
Me3: "I swear I saw two of those dogs humping today!"
Me2: "Which dogs?"
Me3: "You know...the ones born last month. They're brother and sister!"
Me1: "One month-old dogs don't hump! They're not insects. They live, they grow, they fuck, they die! But they have to grow one to fuck one!"
Me5: "Someone should kill them before they grow one. There are hundreds of them just walking around like they own the campus! Wallowing in the grass, taking a shit on the road, I mean teach your dogs some etiquette chancellor!"
Me4: "Maybe they should kill themselves."
Me1: "Dogs can't kill themselves. They're not human. Only humans can kill themselves. We rule! No wonder we're at the top of the food chain!"
Me2: "....By killing ourselves?"
Me1: "No...by screwing by the millions. But that's not the point! It's just the fact that we CAN do it and others can't! It proves a point!"
Me3: "No it doesn't. No other creature has enough brains to understand that....Don't you think vicious animals would stop hunting men if they knew we'd kill ourselves anyway!"
Me1: "It does too! Ask the dead guy in 205. And vicious animals wouldn't kill humans if we didn't keep climbing into their cages like buffoons. Fuck, humans are stupid!"
Me5: "I can't ask the dead guy....coz he's dead! And yeah, they should probably do something about the safety measures. Anyone can climb in.'
Me2: " maybe they ought to use some sort of deterrent....like a vicious lion that'll chomp your ass off as soon as you climb in!"
Me4: " Wise ass!"
Me3: "Euthanasia rules!"
Me4: "That was totally uncalled for."
Me3: " It does rule...what's uncalled for are your stupid daydreams where you're standing in the clothes washing area naked holding up your imprinted underwear!"
Me5: "Oops! Sorry that was me..."
Me4: "Why the fuck were you standing naked in the clothes washing area with your imprinted underwear in your hand pretending to be me?"
Me5: "I don't know...I didn't even know it was me. I thought it was you..."
Me1: " Wait a minute...which hand were you holding it in again? Number 4 is left handed!"
Me5: "It varies...."
Me4: "It varies with the underwear..."
Me2: "You're both homo. And Number 1, dream better nightmares man! What's with walking around in a broken down, black hostel shaking hands with juicy undead...things?"
Me1 : " My nightmares are flawless. You're the one who has a problem with everything!"
Me4: "I'm scared!"
Me3: "You're a pansy....wait! was that 'I'm scared' or 'm squared' as our maths teacher says it? Dammit are you doing maths??"
Me1: " You fuckers, that's what I was trying to do before you started talking about apple pie and polka dotted underwear!"
Me4: "We did not say polka dotted...they're yours aren't they?"
Me1: "OUT!!!"

And so it goes on and on. God it's awful. It's god-awful. It's creepy. Less creepy than this guy who's been sitting on the next computer for the last 15 minutes looking at what I'm typing. 'Yes guy sitting beside me, looking at me typing for the last 15 minutes, I'm talking about you.' Phew! He's turned away. But I'll give him the stink eye just in case...

P.S. I don't think I suffer from schizophrenia, so I will kill you if you try to hypnotise me while I'm sleeping.
P.P.S. That was number 3.