Sometimes the world goes blank when you're staring down the barrel of a gun. How do I know? When you put that little piece of metal in and roll it shut, there's always that inkling of certainty that this time it's you that Fate has targetted. It makes little difference that it's yourself holding the gun and that 5 out of 6 times you'll live to rue another day. Yet you smile at the probability, sometimes laugh hysterically, displaying a row of uneven teeth which secretly laugh at your own misconceptions. You never died the countless times this happened in your dreams, the metallic shot only serving to resuscitate a lost image from disillusion. Why should it happen now? How do you know that you aren't dreaming?
The hollow laugh of yours rings out like a maniacal plea to someone to pull the gun out of your hand and show you the way to your bed so you can live a throbbing, restive dream all over again. But there's no one there except the beads of sweat that arrive obediently and obsequiously to answer your call, to cool you down and reveal your fear. Yet there's some element of foreboding mystery when you're kissing the mouth of a gun and daring your finger to pull the trigger. And for all your reluctance, some portion of you just begs you to do it, apathetic....cruel. As the last vestiges of your humanity die away, your clamorous laughter stops, your hand ceases to shake and the trigger gives way to the weight of your finger.
Cold emotion washes over you like a surreal dream, and your laughter echoes only in your head as you wonder, every living adrenaline shot of a second that is your life if you survived the sixth day, or would it, perhaps be a better idea to pop a couple of painkillers in your mouth so you can lift yourself out of this coffin and cover your corpse wit daffodils...
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It seems I'm suffering froma certain type of writer's block that allows you to 'ideate'(as IBM would advertise) but still render you incapable of putting a word on paper. This results in warped,crazy compositions as this one.
P.S. Max Payne still rocks.
4 comments:
i loved the first part. but you totally ruined it. :|:|
Ei jonnyo boli toh...Age of Mythology anyday.
@annesha: ya...but thats strategy. and no cool lines about bullets "moving a fatal,microscopic distance in your head"!
@ cry freedom: ill try to do better.
hey, that IS a cool line!
As is the title.
Don't worry, as long as you can come up with SOMETHING, it's not real writer's block.
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