Food For Thought

Me 2: ."..And nobody thinks it's normal because nobody has a word for it. But the truth is it happens to everybody, but everybody is just as afraid to admit it as everybody else. So there you have it. I shall call it 'woking'."

Me 1: "Were you talking all this while? "

Me 2: " Oh look who just tuned in. If it isn't Mr. I'm too busy to listen to an intelligent summarisation of human nature because I like to play with colourful doodlyduffs."

Me 1: "Err...Well soothing your conceited ego by listening to your endless rants won't really help me with this experiment. And these are colourful 'resistors'! It would really help if I had a part of my brain not babbling on about irrelevant stuff, but actually considering how to put these together."

Me 2: " Hmm...Uhuh...U-huh. Hmm..."

Me 1: "Well?"

Me 2: "No idea. "

Me 1: "Oh well! Why doodlyduffs?"

Me 2: "I don't know. Why jojoba? Why pinata? Why Mozart for that matter?"

Me 1: "The truth is I don't even care-"

Me 2: "Of course you do! Look, my general philosophy is that no person can have a day that goes just perfect. There is always that one, maybe more, it might even be something he encounters everyday but is unable to deal with, which goes horribly wrong, and averages things out."

Me 1: "That's not true."

Me 2: "It is. It's one of those things you can't ever come to a conclusion about, but you're there in that same spot everyday considering 'what if' when a flood of corollary ifs and buts come charging down and smack you in the face."

Me 1 : "Ah the joy of being one of the few ponderers of human existence!"

Me 2: "No check it out! You wake up in the morning. Have the best breakfast ever-"

Me 1: "U-huh."

Me 2: "-You go to class/ your girlfriend's house/ the movies depending on what day of the week it is-"

Me 1 : "Sure. Plan life to the punctuation marks-"

Me 2: "-You get straight A's in all your papers/ have the best sex you've ever had/ meet an interesting girl/guy depending on your sexual preference and current relationship status on facebook-"

Me 1: "Hey!-"

Me 2: "-Then you return from whatever it is you were or weren't doing with or without the respective schoolmates/ girlfriend/ new hot chic to have the most delectable beef stake/lobster thermidor/chicken a-la kiev at Peter Cat/ Marco Polo/ Magnolia depending on your current mood and choice of cuisine-"

Me 1: "Well-"

Me 2: "Then you score/ play Halo 2 on Lan/ have a lot more sex/ read a good book/ feel that inky-happy feeling of being in love/ hang out with your friends at a coffee house/ go sneaker-shopping/ burn stuff/ get tipsy and puke/ do social work -"

Me 1: "Ok, this could take a long while."

Me 2: "My point is that in this intricate web of infinte things that could/might/may have happened, there's always that one glitch in the path, that one puddle of mud amidst the countless pools of rainwater, that one wet toilet seat in the comfort of a soothing and relaxing bathroom, that just brings things down to an ordinary day like any other."

Me 1: " So...You're saying something as trivial as a wet toilet seat would ruin something that might have been the most wonderful day of your life?"

Me 2: "Of course. Coz' these are the things you encounter more often than delectable blueberry cheesecake, a perfect love story or I dare say, sex!"

Me 1: " You've got to be kidding me!"

Me 2: "Of course I am. Everbody knows blueberry cheesecake is a myth! What I'm saying is these little things should bother you. Hell, I could never figure out the protocol on urinal etiquette and it pisses me off everyday. What should you do? What can you do? Do you just smile and get back to what you're doing or start a polite conversation regarding Heisenberg's near exile to the concentration camps?"

Me 1: "Heisenberg was saved on account of his mother knowing Himmler's mother, you know."

Me 2: "Yeah. Funny that :
Mrs. Heisenberg: 'You tell your Heinrich to lay off my Werner!'
Mrs. Himmler: 'But Heinrich thinks the Uncertainty Principle is a Jewish lie!'
Mrs. Heisenberg:'Oh that's just Werner. He doesn't mean it. Just showing off as usual, trying to get attention.' "

Me 1: "Yes. Exactly what happened. But don't you think the day Heisenberg found out he was safe, it was the happiest day of his life, regardless of the everything else he might have had to suffer?"

Me 2: "Well, do you think the day Pauli was proven right, when the existence of neutrinos was found to be real, despite Albert Einstein's disapprobation, was the best day of his life?"

Me 1: "Of course not! He was dead by then!"

Me 2: "Well, he would've been much happier having found the cure for cancer now wouldn't he? What is a neutrino anyway?"

Me 1: "Some kind of antacid for indigestion I think."

Me 2: "Stop playing with those doodlyduffs!"

Me 1: "Stop calling them doodlyduffs! What the fuck are doodlyduffs? They've got a name. They're called resistors!"

Me 2: "And what do you call that output on the CRO?"

Me 1: "It's supposed to be a sinusoidal output."

Me 2: "Then why does it look like text from the Quran?"

Me 1: " I don't know! The fucking machine must be malfunctioning! Everybody's got the output!"

Me 2: "No they haven't. It's just a feeling. It happens to everybody. You just don't want to admit it because you think nobody else has ever experienced it, because there's no word in the English language for it. Like the uncomfortable feeling you get from sitting on a chair warmed by somebody else's bottom. I shall call it 'shoeburyness'."

Me 1: "How does sitting on a seat warmed by somebody's bottom even compare to my situation??"

Me 2: "I don't know. I just wanted to bring our conversation back to what I was saying initially-"

Me 1: "OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!"

Me 2: "But it's why I call resistors doodlyduffs-"

Me 1: "SHUT THE HELL UP! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF YOU CALL THEM MEGAN-FUCKING-FOX! GET LOST! I DON'T CARE IF YOU GO SWIMMING WITH GAURAV IN PINK PANSY FLOWERED TRUNKS OR SHOVE GOO UP YOUR NOSE AND ACT YOUR NON-SCIENTIST-PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL SELF. JUST GET LOST NOW!!"

Me 2: "....I want momos..."

Me 3:"What's all this noise?"

Me 4: "I think I'm hungry. What's for lunch?"

Me 2: "Momos! Momos momos momos!"

Me 5: "Ooh. What are those colourful thingies called?"

Me 2: "Doodlyduffs!"


....And that is the day I flunked my lab exam.