Gloom

How long have I known you, dear blog? Two and a half? Three years maybe? Sure, I keep changing your URL, but let's face it, nothing in the world should be named 'etherealsouls'. Now you are exotic. You are 'thelimeandthecoconut'. I could have named you a lot of things - 'trafficnoiseandlights' for instance. But the phrase occurs so profusely in so many posts of mine that I could not bare to name you something so banal! 'trevor-the-frog' is again something I would never consider naming you. My love for frogs extends only as far as the sweet spurt of blood when I squish them with a cricket bat. I love you far too much to let the blood out of you, blog. Too much to call you Trevor.

So why then, blog, do you let my clueless fingers type out posts such as these? They're not funny, not whimsy, not even carefully thought through. I don't know how this'll end, I honestly don't. Unconditional trust. It's worth more than unconditional love, coz that so often borders on compulsion. But then that's what we do, don't we? We stick our foot out the car-door, we lick the match-stick, we hold our breath to feel the pulse, we leap and pray to god we can fly.

But then ever so often, blog, I feel like we're drifting apart. It's my fault really, I don't post nearly as often as I'd like, but then you're just a blank page. You're a timeless wall I can bounce ideas off of, you take my thoughts and etch them out in clear black text, you are witness to a part of me I dare not expose, and I'm grateful. But at the end of the day, our conversations are one-sided, I love you, but surely you know, I need something more. You cannot confine me, you do, and I run away. But I will return, you know that right? I always do.

You're a dumb, immutable, lovable, inanimate thing that never really exists, you're like BOB in Monsters vs Aliens, you're Doug the Dog in Up, you're the Scout to my Jem and in the end, I know they're all just reflections. They exist coz we do, you exist coz I do. So in a sense, you complete me...You're a real person and I love you. But you already knew that, didn't you?