365 days, 365 nights!

Does it ever seem to you that months are somehow named according to your feelings at that particular time of the year? It's hard to explain, but then again when has that ever stopped me from confusing you too? It seems to me that the years begins with the months of January and February because that's precisely what we do at this particular time of year! 'Jan-worry','Febru-worry'! Maybe it's only me, but I tend to worry a lot when the year's just getting started. It begins with the "Oh my God! December's over and my exams are just around the corner!" Worry, worry worry. An inevitable part of my new years' resolution seems to be "I'm gonna study seriously!" Somehow I can't accuse myself when sometime in the middle of the year, I change it to "I'm gonna study....seriously...!" But what remains to be answered is, why do I even worry? All it does is hinder my usual train of thought. I spend an entire day drawing out a proper plan of action...you know, like an emergency, 'Suspended Act' or something(Ok! I didn't desrve that S in history and civics!), but when it comes down to it, I can never follow that plan of action. So it only serves to worry me further. Somehow 'worry' is very similar to a virus, all it does is create more worry, and all they do is cause fever, make you lose your appetite or bang at the 'Winnie-the-Pooh' sticker that you stuck on your cupboard door when you were five, just because it's there. Just like a virus!

So the year obviously begins with "Jan-worry"....you know, worry for your life. Exams do threaten your life. Trust me...I know. Exams are just like that doubt in your head that aliens do exist - "They are out there..."(strange X Files tune playing in the background). But if life's anything like 'War of the Worlds', the virus, that is, 'worry' is the only thing that will save us! That's right, when exams are ready to shove each individual dildo of its tentacles-like tripod up your bare ass, the only thing that saves you is worry! See how this explains it all? Told you it would. Then comes 'Febru-worry'. Your favourite worry!(If you have the conventional bong accent, you'll see it clearer) Valentine's Day and all that mushy crap! Due to lack of personal experience, experiments in this area are still on hold. Then comes the random part of the year. From March to August, I live every day of the year and yet, I keep wondering 'where the fuck did all those days go?' We march right into Spring in March(which is surprisingly short), then comes April which May or May not be warm. Then there's June which is actually just an extension of July excpet for the smattering of rain during end-July. All they do is change the 'ne' in the back to 'ly'. As if that changes anything. Random I tell you. then comes August, which is indeed a very 'august' experience. Nothing exciting ever happens in August! In fact, out of all the months in a year, the only month I am never sure I've lived through is August. It's almost like those exam-like aliens had returned and put me under sedatives for an entire month. When you wake up you feel like you've done it all before! De`ja vu. Didn't last month just have 31 days? It drives you nuts almost to the point of doing something insanely random. Like altering your new years' resolution to "I'm gonna study....seriously..." And in a peculiar way, you feel de`ja vu all over again!

September, October, November and December are just the closing months of the year. It's like the closing months of your teens. Trust me...I know. Fuck, that's like de`ja vu again! Shouldn't randomness have died last month? Whatever. These months tell you to do whatever you can possibly think of doing, mind the bombs and plane crashes and terrorist attacks in November, enjoy the entire joyride from September to December, but 'rem-ember', your days are gonna get a lot worse...very soon! You don't bother about this premonition but when your last stronghold, that is 31st night, crumbles like the pieces of your vivid sexual encounter with Salma Hayek after a hangover, you stare 'worry' right in the face and it injects its malignant virus straight up your ass....the very ass it saved from the exam-terrestrials, 12 months ago!

I have drawn up my plan of action for the year and this time I'm really gonna study....seriously!