Quotable Quotes

I was utterly bored in the morning, so I thought I'd look up some cool quotes on the internet. I found enough quotes to compile an entire dictionary( though arranging them in alphabetical order might prove to be a challenge). Some were genius, but the thing I realised is that most were pretty pathetic! I mean a ten year old with a modem and microsoft word might be able to type up a few quotes better than some I've just read. True, this does not justify all the years in school when I cooked up lines that sounded vague enough to be quotes and put classy names underneath to make them appear to be famous quotes, nor does it justify my teachers double-ticking them and commending me for those very lines, but well, it proves two things - educating children is perhaps a job better left to the kids themselves, and that anyone can come up with a decent quote. So I spent the last half hour trying to think up a few....(Mind you, someday I'll be famous!)

Atheism is a drag - who else to blame if not God?

Homosexuality confounds me. It's both an anomaly and an analogy at the same time.

It doesn't matter whom you quote...As long as the name at the bottom is catchy enough.
- Anoorag Biswas

When naming your kids, make sure the name ends with a vowel. That way, when you yell, the name will carry further!

I've found my calling in food, lost my religion to sex and lost my virginity to drugs...I only hope I wasn't still 19!

I've always thought Santa Claus was Jesus' father. Why else would somebody give away free presents on someone else's birthday?

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.

Is it ironic that the only way to get into IIT is to pass the joint?(sorry)

The world began with the Big Bang. It will end with Global Waring and Nuclear Winter. Somewhere in between came Playboy magazine.

If you wake up one morning with that feeling in your heart, and the day seems brighter, the birds chirpier and the people more lively....it means your pace-maker's giving way at the onset of Global Warming!

If Hitler were Gandhi and Gandhi were Hitler, two major catastrophes may have been averted!

I don't generally cry. I've tried thinking of Bambi's mother dying. I've tried thinking of Forest Gump's mother dying. I've even tried thinking of both their mothers dying in a mid-air collision. But lenses...they're a different story.