Sorely Depressed by the Death of Michael Jackson

So...cannibals. Yes, cannibals. An interesting enough topic. Dr. Hannibal Lecter was a cannibal. I have, after a considerable amount of rummaging through a friend's hard disk, which may or may not be malfunctioning, procured 'The Silence of the Lambs' movie which I'm dying to sit down and get glued to. But the perpetual problem with a classic movie is that quite often it's based on a book. A book which you'd much rather read before than after you've seen the movie. Now I'm not much of a reader myself( which explains why I would take more than a week to chew my way through a single novel), yes I do not shriek with excitement when I see the flashy new cover of a bestseller, I do not get turned on by the strange and exotic smells of newly printed pages, I do not have dreams in which I'm the central character doing whatever it is the central character does, I am quite frankly, very choosy about what I read. What I do read is what is recommended by a lot of people, and no, I don't take the opinions of Chetan Bhagat lovers into consideration.

Now that I've established that I find cannibalism intriguing and that I'm not a great reader, let's move on to the main topic of this post. Boredom. Ennui. General uselessness. Quite often manifested in lying on a comfortable sofa eating chips off your chest, chatting, taking Facebook quizzes, reading classical literature, consternation about bowel movements, watching previously seen movies over and over again, blogging, raving about swine flu or reading the Survival Strategies column in Graffiti( also spelled....however it is Suhel Seth wants to spell it). I have been suffering from a few of these symptoms. In fact, I have definitely suffered from each of these symptoms at some point over the last few hours. So it is with much regret now that I say that Suhel Seth is a cunt. I really can think of no plausible reason why anyone would want to write to the Graffiti column asking for advice for the simple reason that he/she will get none. If sardonic mocking of problems or wisdom of the aged is what I desire, I'd turn to certain sitcoms or talk to someone who doesn't look like he's in deep contemplation while taking a royal dump in his display picture. No, and I'd definitely not add him on facebook and I don't think Mamata Banerjee and Buddhadeb Bhattacharya are the only examples he could cite( come to think of it, he really doesn't know much, does he?). More often than not, I find his responses to peoples' letters predictable and touched as I am when he ends his pathetic paragraphs with "Okay, son?", I find his '"supposedly" witty remarks very banal and pretentious. I mean seriously, does he consider calling someone a cow or comparing him/her to Mamata Banerjee a thing of utmost hilarity? If he does, well, he really doesn't deserve to write in any column at all. Okay, maybe I'll cut him some slack. Most of the problems people approach him with are retarded. But then again, most of the letters addressed to him do have the name and address of the sender withheld. Might someone suggest there's something fishy? Might someone tell me why I care? Fuck knows. It always bothers me when stupid people try to appear smart.

Well, this post doesn't much elaborate on the topic, does it? What can I say.....All I really want is to witness a verbal debate between Hannibal Lecter and House.

"Can you hear the lambs bleeting, Gregory?"

"Yes. Old MacDonald says hi!"
(sticks a morphine syringe in his IV tube)