Thirteen
"I don't get maths anymore. There are too many hypotheses, too many theories, too much speculation and too many ideas without any tangible proof. Even the calculations have begun to go over my head. Now that I've seen how complicated maths truly is, I think I should just quit and pursue something I'm more suited to."

"Dude, you're just thirteen!"

*sigh* "And it's time I accept it!"

Fourteen
"If I hadn't discovered the joys of jerking off, I don't think I'd have a reason to live anymore. I mean Nicco Park is no fun anymore and the strip clubs just don't let me in. Wait - there are no strip clubs here! My history teacher cannot learn from his own mistakes. I mean how hard can it be to just commit suicide? Even Santa Claus thinks I'm too old now! I want my fourteen years of invested belief back!"

"Here's your Christmas present!"

"There IS no Santa Claus! GROW UP!"

Fifteen
"I don't really much care for terminators. I mean they all get demolished in the end right?"

"Yeah, like in the movie. They used dogs to hunt down terminators!"

"Why can't there be a realistic movie based in the future with no guns and space-ships and guys in white suits shooting tube lights at you?"

"What? You mean to say that in a post-apocalyptic age, where death lurks at every corner, you're willing to put your gun down for even an instant??"

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"Well I wouldn't, thank you very much! I'd go to the future and steal better weapons. I'd have an underground store with all the guns the world will ever invent. Hell, I'll make babies with the guns just to see if I can fit my dick in!"

"Hold on...how the fuck would you 'go to the future' and steal the uber-cool reproductive guns?"

"Well, they must have time machines in the future, right?..."

Sixteen
"Bird Flu! Bird Flu! What the hell is this Bird Flu?"

"I don't know. I'm locking my door and taping all my windows to keep it out!"

"Guys, I just fell down the stairs and now there's this jagged white thing sticking out of my arm, is this bird flu?"

"So what if the bird flu? What the fuck are they supposed to do?"

"Guys, chilli chicken at GC now costs 40 bucks! Wanna go?"

(unanimous)"Sure."

Seventeen
"Don't mess with me, I know Karate."

"Oh yeah? Since when?"

"Do not mock the great master. I could knock you unconscious in the wink of an eye with my special four-step manouvre."

"Well, what is it called?"

"I call it the SING."

"SING?"

"S-I-N-G. Solar plexus - Instep - Nose- Groin!"

"You've been watching Miss Congeniality, haven't you?"

"...Yeah"

*sighs*

Eighteen
"Pussy!"

"Er.."

"Pussy!"

"What?"

"Pussy!"

"...."

"Pussy!"

"I don't get it..."

"AND YOU NEVER WILL!"

Nineteen
"I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING. And then hurl it through the window of a Dell dealer!"

Twenty
*dies*