Bitchy. PMS?

Einstein was right. Time is relative to the observer. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, time slows down. Your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. Stay with it, and you could live a lifetime in that split second. Actually no. I don't know how that would feel as I've never experienced it. I doubt I ever will. But it sure feels good to imagine how it would be without your bladder discarding it's etiquette. Yes, it's nice to imagine. Hey you know what would be funny? Put a patient with mirror syndrome in a ward with a schizophrenic. Hysterical laugh. Yeah, it sure is comforting to imagine you people breaking into bouts of hysterical laughter at my attempts at humour.

The truth is I'm suffering from a major stretch of sleep deprivation. It's affected me to the point where I'm not sure I'm even aware what I'm typing. Here's how it works. You play insomniac the entire day before an exam, but finally drift off to an uncomfortable stupor moments(as it seems) before the alarm decides to clang vociferously and thus, awaken you from your beloved sleep. Hence, begrudgingly you pull yourself from underneath the covers, trudge zombie-like to the bathroom and when you're finally done with your morning toiletries, you make your way to the exam hall. Oh I forgot the part where you skip breakfast because it's all idlis and sambhar. Yuck. Now by the time you're done with the catastrophic examination, you're at this stage of existence which is actually a middle ground between consciousness, nirvana and the everlasting hereafter. That, dear reader,(I like to imagine I have a reader) is the initial stage of sleep deprivation. Now, you may have heard from your family physician( 'may' have heard as I have no idea if it's true) that there are numerous kinds of sleep deprivation. Post-exam sleep deprivation is not the worst, hell it might even be the only one with a tinge of euphoria, but God, it's annoying. Having thus succeeded in establishing that the post exam lull is a bitch and that I can use God and hell in the same sentence,(there, see I did it again) I will now tell you why being without sleep, and high on a quart of whiskey, are not a good combination.

I have no idea why.

P.S. - 'You' should be read as 'I/me' throughout this post.